First things first, I suppose a little introduction is in order. They usually make me uncomfortable but since we don’t have to guess who is going to go first this should be a little easier. Besides, there is nothing in this world I know more about than myself, the hard part will be keeping this short and sweet. I am 30 years old, and I just discovered a few weeks ago that I have Asperger's Syndrome. In the grand scheme of things this doesn’t change anything, I’m still exactly the same person I was before I figured out why I am so different, and yet at the microscopic level at which I examine myself it’s monumental. This has given me something I have searched my whole life for, perspective. I have found my voice. I hope to help others find theirs. Welcome to my world.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

A message about curebies

I’m not complaining about having Aspergers Syndrome. I’ve never been complaining, and yet I get endless inquiries about treatment options and heartfelt suggestions for ways I can improve my life. My life is grand. My life is a product of the choices I have made and for the last little while those have been damn good ones. Things run fairly smoothly from my point of view, and yet all anyone else sees is how miserable they would be. My happiness apparently has no bearing on my happiness when it comes to public opinion. They are too busy listening to people who have never lived my life tell them how badly people with ASD need a cure.

I try not to get involved in the political drama that surrounds the issue. I try not to get worked up, but it makes me want to scream from the rooftops, or pull my hair out because I know no one would hear me even if I did. Any cure they offer could be compared to a lobotomy. If you take away all that makes up my personality then what is left but an empty shell that once held a vibrant and inquisitive spirit. I couldn’t live as less than I am. I wouldn’t know how. No one would.

There are very few adults with ASD looking for a cure. I say very few to be politically correct, but the fact of the matter if I haven’t been able to find even one and I’ve been looking. I belong to forums chock full of people on the spectrum and not one of them is screaming for a quick fix. Yea they bitch about the shit parts, but doesn’t everyone? I do however hear all kinds of yelling about “curebies” when all we are looking for is acceptance as a different sort of thinker. Not better mind you, different. FFS we make up a fair chunk of the population, we WERE the children being “stolen from their parents”, and a good percentage of us turned out just fine. Just for the record, a good percentage of Neurotypicals didn’t.

Its hard not to be upset by it all, when the assumption is constantly being drawn that there is something wrong with me, something wrong with the way I think. The only thing wrong is feeling that they have the right to judge when they cannot possibly know what its like to walk in my shoes. We are a minority, but we deserve the right to be heard.

It doesn’t seem to matter that those who know me love me for my differences, that even though I take some getting used to there are those who simply wouldn’t feel the same about me if I didn’t think the way I do. It doesn’t seem to matter that I’m standing in front of them saying that I am content with who I am. That we are standing in front of them saying we are content with who we are. That had we been cured as children we wouldn’t be the people they know and love today.

My message is pretty simple. The truth always has two sides.


brady said...

i am littlemissbrady on deviant art. i have bipolar disorder, and experienced similar issues with at least, the whole, people telling you this and that about how to cure yourself. it's bs. but really, what i wanted to say my best friend has aspergers syndrome, and she's the coolest chick ever. rock on.

did that make any sense whatsoever?

alei said...

It makes perfect sense, thank you. The world would be a less colourful and far less interesting place without people like you and her and me. ;)

Suicune1000 said...

Finally, someone who shares my opinion! Every AS documentary I see, people are bemoaning their circumstances and praying for cures and drugging their children up just because they, God forbid, think in an independent and unique way. It drives me insane. All they can think of is a cure, and yet, I think that if they were to get one they would want to go back to the way they were. I like to think of it like the whole "X-men" deal from the third movie. We're not wrong, just different. We don't need a cure. We are as perfectly us as we can be. Rock on!

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3rebar3 said...

[Raises hand] Here you go. I'm an adult with an ASD looking for a cure. I'm 50, diagnosed at age 42, and every single day of my life I am reminded of all the missed opportunities, all the failed endeavors, all the wasted potential. Not being pessimistic here, just factual. I have made, and continue to make, a superhuman effort to find my niche in life. It's not like I'm sitting around doing nothing and whining about it. But I have so very little to show for all of my trying over the years.

I found your blog just now via Google. I was looking for blogs written by other adults with an ASD because many people have told me I am a good writer and ought to blog about my own experiences. Perhaps that will finally be the place where I can be useful to others. For now, I am looking at your blog and others to see examples of how things are done.

I am really enjoying reading your writings. Thanks for a great blog!

Anonymous said...

Your blog is currently included on our Actually Autistic Blogs List ( Please personalize your blog’s description by selecting "About the list/How do you want your blog listed?" from the top menu on that site.
Thank you.
Judy (An Autism Observer)

An Autism Observer said...

Alei, if you want to customize your blog’s description, please click on “How do you want your blog listed?” and fill out the form provided. Thanks.