Whispers in the dark

That’s what I’m doing right now isn’t it? Whispering into the dark? No one can see me, and you can only hear me if you pay attention. It’s a defense mechanism. 100%. Its an effective one at that.

I purposely share of myself in a way that only those who really want to hear what I have to say have to listen. I’m constantly worried that I’m boring people, or upsetting people, or keeping people from things they would rather be doing. To compensate for and hide that little anomaly about myself I take a back seat in life, waiting for people to come to me, to let me know they are interested in what I have to say, and only then do I open my mouth.

Even this. No one asked me to write this blog, but it’s like talking in an empty room with the door wide open. If someone walks by and is interested in what I am saying they are free to enter and even join in if they like. I love comments, even the negative ones. They show me people are reading, and give me an insight into what people might enjoy.

This is a struggle for me, and I’m treating this like my diary from day to day, discussing what’s on my mind and trying to organize the way I feel about things. I put it on the web because knowing I’m not alone helps me drastically and I’d like to think I provide the same for at least a few other people. I have gotten an email or two thanking me, so I must be doing something right. For those who aren’t comfortable with that, that’s alright too. I’m glad you are reading anyway.

My mind is running in circles, this is a lot to process in a short amount of time. That mental disorganization sometimes comes across here and if I seem a little inconsistent I apologize, if there is a particular aspect of the blog or type of entry you enjoy let me know and I’ll see what I can do. Otherwise I’m sure the topic or genre will come back around if you watch for it. I express myself constantly and in many ways, but I can be a little spotty about the application. Keeping up with my brain is a full time job that keeps creating backlog.

Cheers.

Keys

Dreamers whisper back and forth across star strewn skies
Their voices crisp and clear on the breeze
Parading their hearts for the world to answer
With echoes of immortality
Amongst the marked

Those who bear the brand, who dance attendance
To the dark that lives and breathes eternity in their souls
Seek the light in the darkest of places
Seek the recesses of their own fragile motives
And find the truth hidden in the caskets of confidence

Deny the honesty that screams defiance at the masks
At the peril of long forgotten deceptions
Rising to devour what remains of the will to be whole
The stone that hides the true image from prying eyes
Also blinds eyes that seek fulfillment
In a world that doesn’t belong to them.

The never ending pursuit of happiness
Foiled at every turn by the fragile’s inability
To take ownership of the weakness that bleeds for acknowledgement
With laid blame they hide their scars
Laying bare their own chances

Acceptance marks the beginning
And the path grows longer with each step
Twisting and turning past ethical lessons
Taught in fear of the unknown.

Shed the scattered teachings that the truth is what they speak
Cast the muttered discontent aside in the face of bitter reality
We are the nightmares that lurk in the abyss of our own subconscious
We are the light at the end of our own tunnel
We are the keys to our own success
We simply need to unlock the door.